Custody - Do cheating and homosexuality make you a bad parent?

Do infidelity and homosexuality somehow make you a "bad parent"? Different people will have different answers. I can't begin to answer that question. Luckily, today the Indiana Court of Appeals published a decision discussing how these issues effect a custody case.

In finding for custody in favor of the Father, the Court of Appeals noted that the trial court relied on not only "Mother’s homosexuality but also to her infidelity and questionable judgment by interacting with individuals who may affect the children’s best interests, and there was evidence that would support the award of custody to Father regardless of any evidence of Mother’s homosexuality."

The Court went on to describe the evidence supporting the order in favor of Father:

The evidence from the dissolution hearings reveals that Mother began having extramarital affairs in 2006, including relationships with individuals who had been convicted of drug-related offenses. Mother was planning on getting a house with her current girlfriend, who Mother had supervised when she was on probation from cocaine-related convictions and who was unemployed, was still married, and had three children. Various witnesses testified that Father was devoted to his children, played with them, and had made them his priority.

Other witness testimony also strongly supported the the order in favor of Father.

Okay. That is interesting, but didn't answer the question. The question was "does infidelity and homosexuality make you a bad parent?" The Indiana Court of Appeals decision issued today suggests that homosexuality, in and of itself, is not a basis with which to decide custody. This is supported by other Indiana cases. So the answer is - no, homosexuality does not make you a bad parent.

However, as to infidelity, I think the answer is different. If it is accompanied by other instances of poor judgment and - this is important - is part of a history showing risky conduct of the parent, infidelity could be relevant in a custody determination.

DIY divorce

Look, I am a divorce attorney so don't expect me to recommend or endorse you being your own attorney. While you know the facts and truths of your circumstances better than anyone else ever will, the mechanics of getting a marriage dissolved can be tricky.

The devil is in the details. How debt obligations are dealt with is a huge problem. With the current economic climate, issues related to the repayment of debt, as well as lack of credit, are tough to tackle. Does completing a quitclaim deed alleviate your obligation to pay the mortgage? Absolutely not. It is amazing how often that mistake is made. What if your soon to be ex is eligible for bankruptcy... will the joint debts he agrees to pay be discharged leaving you responsible to the creditors? Maybe, but there are things that can be done in crafting the divorce settlement order that offer you protections.

If kids are involved, then for too many reasons to list - GET AN ATTORNEY! Maybe you can't afford an attorney with a high hourly rate to handle the entire case start to finish, but you can't afford not to at least have a consultation regarding the child-related issues.

Nonetheless, if you need to go it alone and need access to forms and information, the State of Indiana sponsors some information. Please click on the title of this post to link-through.